I am one of those fortunate people who can manipulate their dreams whilst actually sleeping. Not in all cases, just now and then.
How I can do it I have no idea. I am fast asleep dreaming away as you do then suddenly I become aware of the dream as if I’m a participant. The dream carries on its merry way on its own until I become somehow unhappy with its progress and I send the dream in a different direction. And quite often, if I feel like it, resume the original track. I have been able to do it for years and enjoy it for I often remember the dream when I wake. Especially the dreams where I fly.
However, four months ago I had a very strange experience whilst sleeping. This was, of course, a few weeks after being diagnosed with three terminal illnesses. Aye, three of the buggers and I don’t know which one is going to win.
Ischaemic heart disease
Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis
For those who doubt me, I have documentary evidence in the form of hospital discharge notes itemizing each of the diseases.
Anyway, back to the sleeping.
Again it started as a normal dream but didn’t last for long before I became aware of what I was seeing. What was different this time to the others was the position of myself.
I was floating above myself looking down on me specifically. I have never dreamt of myself like this before and I recall feeling a sense of not terror but something akin to it.
I was in a supermarket of all places, sitting on a bench running along the inside of the front window watching the trolley of goods my wife and I had just purchased. I was waiting for my wife to return as she’d gone out to the car in the car park. My gaze was drawn to my left towards the main doors of the shop and I saw a woman standing just inside the double-doors staring at me. She looked puzzled at first as if she was wondering what I was doing there but that lasted only seconds as she then waited for me to go over to her. I almost did for it is then my ‘dream’ manipulation began. From above I could see my head stretching like Munch’s ‘Scream’ towards her and I knew that if I allowed myself to reach those doors then I was never going to come back. I entered my body from above and pulled my head back to normal as I stared at the woman. The struggle lasted only moments for two other people entered the shop just then and distracted the woman and she disappeared. And so did I, for I sat up in bed immediately shaking like a wind-blown leaf, absolutely convinced that I had nearly died. I did not settle down to sleep again until the morning sun touched my face.
The lone woman I recognized. She was my niece from my first marriage who had died a while back. She was a lovely girl.