#writing #fantasy A rant for my new followers

Firstly, a welcome to all my new followers – and a quick question. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I will make this promise to you – I will not be posting every week. Well I don’t think so! Mind you whenever David Cameron is in the news I do tend to spout, pontificate and bluster.

And today’s rant is this. Keep your eyes and ears pinned for our dear David’s temper is about to explode again. Did you see him last Monday? Talk about a beetroot face! After being called an arrogant posh b…… by one of his backbenchers, there is now talk of a plethora of no confidence letters in and around Westminster. I bet he’s going bananas. To those of you lucky enough not to live under this coalition government I say this. Can I join you? This government has already done me of £80 per week in tax credits, it’s also going to take a bit of my pension which I’ll receive next year. And on top of all that they’re talking about taking money away from my wife who suffers Usher Syndrome. She has Retinitis Pigmentosa with the result she’s going blind and deaf.

George Osborne should know all about being blind and deaf – he’s been ignoring us for the last two years. Him and the rest of the Bullingdon boys.

Forgive me I do carry on sometimes, so I’ll now change the subject. My second novel, Plague, has now been published and should be listed within the next three weeks on-line at Amazon, Smiths, Waterstones and B&N. The first novel, The Gateway, is already available on Kindle, it’ll take me a week or so to get the second one up and running on it.

And now to the best part of all my posts – today’s trivia c/o http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/6_May

This day in 1536 – Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church and

in 1877  – Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Sioux surrenders to United States troops in Nebraska.

Born this day in 1758 – Maximilien Robespierre, French Revolutionary (d. 1794) and in 1856Sigmund Freud, Austrian psychiatrist (d. 1939)

Died this day in 680Muawiyah I, Caliph of Umayyad (b. 602) (I had to put this one in I can’t say his name).

Also died on this day in 1963 – Ted Weems, American bandleader and musician (b. 1901). (I can say his!)

On a lighter note c/o http://www.squidoo.com/welsh-jokes

John the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman and Mic the Scotsman all apply to join the SAS and are called for interview. John the Englishman was first in to be greeted by two high ranking officers.

“John, we in the SAS are double-hard bastards”, said one. “In order to join, you too must prove you are a double-hard bastard”, said the other. “We have organised a test. Through that door is your wife. On the table beside where she is sitting is a revolver. Go in there and shoot her”, said the first one, not telling him that the gun only fires blanks!

John the Englishman immediately breaks down sobbing stating that he cannot do it and so he fails the test.

Mic the Scotsman is next and is given the same instructions but after 5 mins in the other room he comes back in and declares his undying love for his wife and so he too fails.

Paddy the Irishman is given the task also. He slowly stands up and enters the other room. The two officers wait expectantly and then BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. 6 shots fired and then silence. The silence lasts for a couple of moments and then there is an unmerciful scuffle. The place gets trashed. After 5 minutes the door opens and out walks Paddy, clothes torn to shreds, blood everywhere. “Jaysus but that f****in gun was useless. I had to beat the bitch to death with the chair!”

No offence intended!

One thought on “#writing #fantasy A rant for my new followers

  1. Although I admit to being a bit clueless when it comes to your country’s politics–I am an egocentric American, after all–I do enjoy your jokes, colorful or not. Sadly, I won’t show this one to my husband. I fear he would enjoy it too much…

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